


Dating a Catholic Boy is Hard Work

by Anonymous



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, alternatively titled 'adam parrish wants to get laid', includes several arguments about religion, read the extended note at the beginning for detailed warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dating a Catholic boy is hard work. Dating Ronan Lynch is even harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating a Catholic Boy is Hard Work

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: This fic has a lot of discussion about religion and not all of it is very kind/thoughtful because the two people involved are both 18, bad at communicating and jerky about it. If that is going to bother you, don’t read this fic. Seriously. Just don’t.
> 
> This fic also has a few instances of a partner pressuring the other to go further/have sex, BUT ultimately, they only go further when consent is given. I understand that it still might make some people uncomfortable though!

         There had been touching, of course. Hands on skin, hungry for contact, and kisses that left both of them breathless and wanting, but Ronan always stopped it before it went much further than frustration. Adam had thought at first that it was just inexperience stopping Ronan, but then, late one night at St. Agnes he stumbled across the beginning of the truth.

         Ronan had come over that night when Adam was done with work and Adam had waited a respectable amount of time before pushing the laptop they were watching a movie on closed and kissing Ronan soundly. It had been going well up until the point that Adam had tried to maneuver them backwards onto the bed.

         “We’re not doing this here,” Ronan had said angrily, breaking off from the kiss and pushing Adam backwards to put several inches of space between them.

          Then, in a moment of unguarded frustration, Adam had said, “Here or anywhere?” 

         And then, there it was. And it couldn’t be unsaid or unknown between them. 

          “Ronan,” Adam had sighed, but it was too late. The other boy was already half into his boots and out the door by the time Adam realized his mistake.

          Adam spent the next week alone, shuttling himself back and forth from job to job to empty apartment. He drove past Monmouth twice, with a half a mind to talk to Gansey before remembering that Gansey was gone, halfway to who knows where with Blue and Henry. He could have called, but stubbornly he didn’t want to be the first one to reach out. Instead, he stewed in his apartment alone, occasionally pulling out his deck and laying cards out, but then putting them away when he didn’t like what they told him.

          Ronan was waiting for him on Sunday when Adam got home from his night shift at the factory. He was dressed for Mass, his tie loose and casual around his neck in a way that had probably infuriated Declan, and sitting on the stairs outside Adam’s door. Adam wondered how long he had been there. Mass usually ended around 9:30 and it was nearly 11.

          “Hey,” Adam said. He stepped around Ronan to open the door, leaving it open so Ronan could follow him in. Ronan ducked inside after him, but didn’t return the greeting. He stood, crouched in too-small room and glowered at nothing in particular. Adam levelled him with a searching look, but Ronan volunteered nothing. Finally, Adam, feeling particularly grimy next to Ronan in his suit, said, “I’m taking a shower.”

          Ronan didn’t react and Adam left him there after grabbing a clean t-shirt and pants from his drawers. When he came back, Ronan had installed himself on the bed, head tipped back on the pillows as though he were asleep. He had removed his tie and jacket and hung them over the back of Adam’s chair. Adam knew he wasn’t really sleeping, but he let Ronan pretend. With his dress shirt rumpled and slightly unbuttoned, Ronan looked painfully attractive and Adam wanted to look his fill. Adam ran his towel through his hair one last time and threw the towel on to Ronan before sitting at his desk. Ronan cracked an eye at him and shook the towel off onto the floor. He crossed his arms sullenly, looking over at Adam. Neither of them spoke.

          Adam turned back to his desk and opened a book. Ronan tipped his head back and feigned sleep again.

          It was late afternoon before Ronan said anything and when he did it was only to announce that he was “fucking starving”. Adam watched Ronan stir himself from the bed and stretch before shoving the sleeves of his shirt up and rolling them there. Adam was almost offended on the shirt’s behalf – it probably cost half of his monthly rent and here was Ronan treating it as if it were from the dollar store. Ronan was half-way down the stairs before he realized Adam hadn’t followed him. Adam listened as he audibly stormed back up the stairs.

          “Parrish,” he groused. He kicked the door jamb hard enough to draw a sound of protest from Adam. “Come on.”

          “I didn’t say I was hungry,” Adam said, although he was. Ronan rolled his eyes and it was more emotive than anything he’d done all day.

          “When was the last time you ate?” Ronan asked.

          Adam sighed and put aside his book. He ran a hand through his hair before standing and slipping on his shoes. Ronan leaned in the door, waiting, and started down the stairs as soon as Adam grabbed his keys and wallet from the desk. By the time Adam made it down to the parking lot, Ronan had already started the BMW. Chainsaw was perched on the roof of the car and flew to Adam as soon as he approached. He rubbed her head with one finger and she cawed in appreciation. When he climbed into the passenger seat, she re-settled herself on his knee.

          They went to Nino’s and didn’t talk. Adam ate everything that was shoved his way. He hadn’t eaten since before his shift at the factory and he was too hungry to argue about the fact that Ronan had clearly ordered too much on purpose.

          It wasn’t until they were back in the parking lot of St. Agnes that Adam couldn’t hold in his silence any longer. Ronan had not killed the engine when he’d pulled into the lot and clearly intended to drop Adam and leave. Adam was not ready for him to leave after nearly a week of not seeing him, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask him to stay.

          “Ronan,” he started. The other boy started as though he had forgotten Adam was there. Adam leaned his head against the headrest so he could look at Ronan. Ronan was staring up the of the small church, his face pulled into a contemplative pucker. Adam looked up at the steeple and then back to Ronan and then again back at the steeple. It was so simple and stupid that Adam almost laughed. Instead, he said, “Tell me this isn’t really about _religion_.”

          Ronan’s mouth twisted into something resembling a sneer before settling to something decidedly more miserable. Adam wanted to take the words back suddenly, but it was too late. He watched Ronan’s jaw clench and unclench before he turned his pale eyes to Adam. It felt like a punch to the gut, minus the actual fist.

          “What the fuck would you know about it, Parrish?” Ronan’s voice was silky and dangerous, a hidden blade that pricked at Adam’s spine in a silent threat. It had been so long since Adam had heard Ronan speak that way to him that it rooted him to the spot for a minute, making his heart race unpleasantly. Taking a deep breath, Adam folded his hands together and leaned forward to rest his chin on them. He bit down a dozen caustic responses before clearing his throat and grabbing for the car door to let himself out.

          “Nothing,” he threw back at Ronan before climbing out and slamming the door behind him. He made it to the foot of the stairs leading up to his apartment when Ronan caught up with him, grabbing his arm. Ronan’s mouth was against his, hot and demanding, before Adam had a chance to process it. He melted into the kiss, grabbing onto Ronan and holding him there so Ronan couldn’t back out of the kiss. They fell against the wall, Ronan pressing Adam back against it and kissing him desperately all the while. Adam thought he might self-combust with the sharp pangs of desire that were shooting through him with every slide of Ronan’s lips against his. When the kisses finally trailed off, both boys were breathing heavily against each other but neither stepped back from the embrace. Adam was achingly hard in his pants and a moment earlier he had felt proof of Ronan’s arousal as well.

          Ronan was looking at him hungrily, eyes dark and hooded. Adam reached up to steal another kiss from him and Ronan allowed it, but didn’t linger. He closed his eyes instead and didn’t open them for a long moment. When he did, he stepped away from Adam and laced his fingers together, putting them on top of his head and exhaling loudly. He looked back over to Adam, who was still leaning against the wall because his heart was racing too quickly to even think straight. Adam looked back at him and watched as Ronan swallowed visibly before sliding his gaze away.

          Ronan took a step back over to Adam and Adam moved to accommodate him, sliding a hand around Ronan’s waist, fingers sliding against the silky fabric of the dress shirt. He let his head fall against Ronan’s chest when Ronan returned the embrace.

          “Are you still coming over on Wednesday?” Ronan asked, his voice was barely a whisper but his mouth was so near to Adam’s hearing ear that he heard the slight uncertainty that made the words so soft. It was unsettling to hear Ronan this way and know that he was the reason behind it. He didn’t like it.

          “Of course,” Adam said and let his arms drop to his side. “I’ll drive up after my shift at Boyd’s.”

          Ronan seemed to collect himself at that and his shoulders shifted into a more recognizable tilt as he pulled away from Adam. Chainsaw chose that moment to swoop in, landing on Ronan’s arm with a ruffle of feathers and a ‘ _Kerah_!’. She peered over at Adam in a decidedly unfriendly way until Ronan flicked the side of her head.

          “I’ll see you then,” Ronan said, turning to leave before Adam could say anything else. Adam watched his retreating back until he was gone and then he slid down the wall to sit there.

          “Shit,” he said to himself. He knocked his head backwards against the wall and hit it a few times against the wood there until he could think straight again.

–

          It was another two weeks before Adam brought it up again and walked straight into the argument that had been simmering unsaid between them since that first spat. Gansey had warned him to leave it be, but Adam couldn’t stop worrying at the thread in his mind so by the time it came up, he had worked himself into a full defense.

          They were sitting out on the porch of the Barns kissing lazily on the porch swing. Adam was tucked into Ronan’s side, fuzzy with the warmth of the night and the boy next to him, and increasingly frustrated with the difficult angles that the porch swing presented him. He gathered his courage and suggested they take it upstairs.

          Ronan froze, looking at him as though he had suddenly grown three heads.

          “No,” he said, pushing Adam away with a hard shove.

          “Ronan,” Adam said. “Seriously?”

          “Parrish, I’m not in the mood for this fight,” Ronan warned. He stood up from the bench and took a few steps down the porch, putting plenty of distance between him and Adam. Adam felt the prickle of real frustration crystallize into something like anger. It had been fairly obvious that Ronan _was_ in the mood for something else a moment before when Adam had been pressed against him.

          “Besides the obvious problems with the Catholic Church, _Lynch_ – ” Adam said.

          “What the fuck is the obvious?” Ronan asked. Adam gave him a look of absolute incredulity.

          “You’re _gay_ ,” he said. Ronan scowled at him.

          “So what?”

          “So what?” Adam threw his hands up in frustration. “Why would you want to associate yourself with a bigoted organization that treats as if you’re sub-human?”

          Ronan’s face was suddenly shuttered. It was hard for Adam to feel bad about it though; he had been spoiling for this fight for almost three weeks now and Ronan had avoided it at every turn.

          “It’s more complicated than that,” Ronan said and crossed his arms. He took a few more steps off the porch and looked for a moment as if he might set off into the fields to get away from Adam. Adam waited a beat before following him, padding across the porch until he reached the last step down where he sat. Ronan flicked a look back at him, but didn’t join. Adam let the silence stew between them for a long time.

          “Ronan,” Adam said finally. Ronan didn’t lift his head or acknowledge Adam. Adam considered his words carefully. “You can literally pull living, breathing _people_ out of your dreams. You’ve created a magic forest that brought Gansey back to life. You…you went toe-to-toe with a demon and _won_. Why the fuck would you need the God that church has for you?”

          Ronan looked sideways at him and frowned. Adam was familiar enough with Ronan’s frowns to see that it was more thoughtful than angry. Ronan cracked his knuckles, loud in the still night air. Adam watched him, but didn’t say anything else.

          “It’s not something you can just turn off,” Ronan said.

          “The gayness?” Adam asked drily, because he knew it wasn’t what Ronan meant. Ronan smiled thinly at him, but the anger from a few minutes ago had completely dissipated in the close summer air. Adam wished Ronan would come sit down so that he was closer. He watched other boy stare out at the fields around them instead, surrounded by his dream fireflies that buzzed in the otherwise still night air.

          “That too,” Ronan agreed finally and Adam smiled, just a little bit. Ronan sat next to him and Adam scooted immeasurably closer, letting their hands touch lightly. Ronan’s fingers tangled with his. They sat on the porch in companionable silence until it was well and truly night. Adam stretched his legs out and leaned back on his elbows beside Ronan and Ronan continued to look out into the dark fields, lost in thought. Adam watched him think.

          “I spent a lot of time at St. Agnes wondering about myself,” Ronan said after a long time. “Asking God what I was.”

          “Did he answer?” Adam asked, careful not to sound disdainful. He recognized the fragility of the moment. It was rare for Ronan to lay his cards out on the table like this, even after months of it being just the two of them together.

          “No,” Ronan said with a finality that made Adam inexplicably sad. He sighed and slid a comforting hand on Ronan’s knee.

          “I’m sorry, Ronan.” Adam squeezed the other boy’s knee before releasing it and standing up. When Ronan didn’t move to join him, Adam went inside, closing the screen door quietly behind him. He slept in Declan’s old room that night, but in the morning when he woke up, Ronan had curled next to him on top of the blanket, asleep and peaceful bathed in sunlight from the open window.

–

          The rest of the summer slipped through Adam’s fingers, filled with too much work and not enough Ronan. Adam didn’t think that there would ever be enough of Ronan for his liking. He found himself sleeping more and more at The Barns until finally it felt impractical to keep paying rent at St. Agnes. Ronan hadn’t commented when Adam first brought up the idea, but had shown up to St. Agnes the next day with boxes and Opal and Chainsaw in tow to help. They’d moved him out that afternoon and Adam hadn’t been back, although Ronan still made the pilgrimage every Sunday morning. Adam was learning to let it go and Ronan was slowly ceding ground on the subject as well.

          At night, Adam and Ronan crept closer to each other. Ronan’s hands were gentle and curious as they explored Adam and Adam’s were listening for when to stop as they snuck across Ronan’s skin. The first time Ronan’s hand had dipped under the elastic of Adam’s boxers, Adam thought he might have a heart attack. The second time, a few days later, Adam was sure that he was indeed having one. Ronan, at least, seemed similarly affected.

          “Ronan?” he asked, after Ronan had been still for a little too long. Adam was breathing heavily under him, hot and uncomfortable in his pants, but unwilling to stop for the night until Ronan said they needed to. Ronan’s hand slid out from where it had been playing with Adam’s waistline and ghosted over the button on Adam’s jeans. “I – are we not stopping?”

          Adam felt hazy with arousal, his hand still sliding across Ronan’s too warm skin under his shirt. Ronan was breathing hard near his ear and even the small sensation of breath on his neck was almost too much for Adam’s self-control.

          “Do we need to?” Ronan asked finally. He was looking at Adam in a way that would have felt dangerous in any other context. Now, it just felt reckless. Ronan’s lips quirked, as if he could read Adam’s thoughts.

           “Are you ready?” Adam asked. He pushed Ronan a little further away, desperately needing the space between them so he could get a hold of himself.

           “I’m ready to stop having this fucking conversation,” Ronan practically growled. He leaned forward again and took Adam’s hands from his chest to the waistline of his jeans instead. Adam let him, watching him with bated breath.

           “That’s not really an answer,” Adam said even though he hated to point it out. Ronan glared at him, but Adam tugged his hips down against him to ease some of the tension of Ronan’s face. Touch was Ronan’s primary language.

           “Yes, Parrish,” Ronan said. “Jesus. Yes.”

           Adam pulled him down for a rough, hungry kiss. Adam felt as if his skin was practically buzzing with anticipation when Ronan leaned back for a few seconds to yank Adam’s shirt over his head. Adam rushed to also pull Ronan’s off and pressed himself against Ronan’s bare chest, flattening his palms against the exposed skin. This was nothing they hadn’t done before, but it still felt like _more_.

           When he came up for air next, Adam couldn’t stop himself from letting a breathless laugh out. Ronan was gently biting along Adam’s shoulder and his hands were wandering the edge of Adam’s pants, playing with the elastic band of his boxers right under the rise of his jeans.

           “What happened to your Catholic morals, Lynch?” Adam teased.  

         “Asshole,” Ronan said before kissing him quiet again. It was as close to a pet name as Ronan ever got, but it was more than enough for Adam.

         Adam’s breath hitched noticeably when Ronan’s hand palmed against his crotch, full of intention this time. Ronan’s eyes jerked up to his. Adam nodded to his unspoken question and Ronan, after another moment of indecision, popped the button on Adam’s pants and pulled them off as Adam lifted his hips to help.

         The sight of Adam in his nothing but his boxers seemed to completely disorient Ronan, who hovered above him, knees bracketing him on either side. Adam sat up as far as he could and pulled Ronan down for a kiss. It took Ronan a second to respond, but when he did, his lips had taken on a wild ferocity that burned through Adam. Adam fumbled for the button of Ronan’s jeans, but his hands were clumsy with desire. Ronan finally broke away and stood up to shuck off his pants himself. He stood at the edge of the bed until Adam pulled him back into it.

         Adam shifted onto his side as Ronan slid into the bed next to him, giving Ronan plenty of space between their bodies. Ronan was looking at him in that impossible way of his that made Adam both hot with longing and hesitant to touch for fear of pushing too far.  

         Ronan’s fingers ghosted on Adam’s shoulder, tracing patterns between the freckles that sprayed across his skin. Adam melted into the pillow as Ronan’s fingers played across his skin, followed shortly after by his mouth, trailing feather-light kisses in their wake. Adam watched Ronan’s guarded expression for any sign of how he was feeling. He felt dizzy with desire by the time Ronan reached the dip of his hips, placing a kiss there and looking up at Adam.

         “Ronan,” Adam groaned. He pulled Ronan up so he could kiss him properly and Ronan shifted closer to him, closing the gap between their bodies. Adam gasped against his mouth as Ronan’s erection brushed against his, separated only by the thin fabric of their boxers. “ _Fuck_.”

         Ronan grunted in agreement. His hands were gripping Adam’s hips so tightly that Adam was sure it would bruise. He didn’t care. Adam’s hips jerked upwards to find the contact again and Ronan ground down against him, swearing colorfully as he did so. Adam grinned, unable to stop himself.

         “I can’t believe a boy who was so concerned about his eternal soul would take the Lord’s name in vain,” Adam whispered, kissing the words into Ronan’s shoulder as the other boy ground against him a little more aggressively. Ronan groaned, but didn’t pull away.

         “I’m going to fucking stop if you don’t shut up, Parrish,” Ronan growled. “And we’ll never do this again.”

         Adam smirked into the kiss that punctuated Ronan’s statement.  

–

         Adam ran out out of summer long before he was ready. He packed up his car with his minimal possessions and drove the eight hours north to college alone. He tried not to think about what it would be like to sleep alone again after spending most of the summer in Ronan’s bed. They had spent the latter half of the summer stealing every moment they could to kiss and touch and rut against each other, but neither had tried to go beyond mouths and hands. It was enough for Adam. For now. It was certainly enough to miss as he drove through the five states that were going to be separating them for the next two months.

         He spent the next two months desperately missing Ronan and getting used to the grueling schedule of classes and work that college imposed. On paper, it should have been easier than Aglionby, since Adam had two less jobs and considerably more time to himself, but Adam was more tired than he had ever been. He missed his friends. He missed Opal and Chainsaw. He missed Ronan most of all. Sometimes, Ronan would call him and they would sit on the line together, talking and not talking, and it was almost enough for Adam not to feel lonely anymore.

–

         Adam was late getting to The Barns on the first night of his Fall Break. He had been stuck in an endless snarl of traffic about an hour north of the state line and his eight-hour drive had turned into a ten-hour drive. He was nearly dead on his feet by the time he pulled into the winding gravel driveway that was lit by what seemed at first glance to be unseasonable lightning bugs. On second glance, Adam realized that they were dream things of Ronan’s and his heartrate picked up noticeably. It had been too long since he’d last seen Ronan and the last few minutes of separation might be the worst yet.

         Ronan was sitting on the porch steps when he turned the last corner and Adam’s heart constricted wildly. He was only in jeans and a tank, despite the already nipping cold. Adam pulled on his coat as he got out of the car. Ronan didn’t get up, but watched him approach with a small tilt of the head. When Adam got closer, he could see the soft shadow of a smile of Ronan’s face and he felt warm all over.  

         “Hey,” he said, kicking Ronan’s foot when the other boy didn’t stand to greet him. Ronan grinned up at him and Adam stepped between his spread legs. He towered over Ronan this way and Ronan made no move to sit up a little more so Adam could kiss him. Adam looked up towards the house and around the fields, the quietness suddenly occurring to him. “Where’s Opal?”

         “Sent her off to the psychics for the night,” Ronan said off-handedly. To a stranger, he might have looked supremely bored, but Adam recognized the mischievous glint in his eyes.  

         “Oh yeah?” Adam asked, trying to match his casual tone as he sat down next to him. “Have big plans for tonight?”

         Ronan grinned.

–

           The next morning, when they were awoken by the squawk of Chainsaw at the window, Ronan got out of bed to let her in before coming back over to Adam. Adam stirred a little, but then realizing how early it actually was, he fell back into the pillow, tugging Ronan with him. Ronan fell back with him, fitting Adam against his shoulder and running fingers through Adam’s mussed hair. Adam sighed into Ronan’s embrace, relishing the sheer amount of bare skin between them at the moment. He dozed back into a comfortable sleep, woken only by Ronan untangling himself from the bed a little later.

           “I have to go to Mass,” Ronan grumbled as he slid himself free of Adam’s arms. Adam watched him incredulously from the bed, but didn’t bother pulling him back. When he returned from a quick shower, Ronan tore open the closet and yanked on his church suit a little more violently than usual. Adam watched sleepily from the bed as Ronan straightened his tie cursorily in the mirror. Ronan caught his eye in the mirror and sat back on the bed next to Adam, running a tentative hand down the slope of Adam’s bare shoulder. Adam thrilled to the touch. He sat up to kiss Ronan and Ronan’s fingers dug into his arm where his hand had landed.

           “Are you sure you have to go?” Adam murmured against Ronan’s lips, chasing a few more kisses when Ronan tried to pull away. He was starved for Ronan after so long away and last night had only done a little to stave off the hunger.

           “Yes,” Ronan said flatly. Adam made a small sound of disappointment at the back of his throat and Ronan shoved him for it. It wasn’t that hard, but Adam fell back into the sheets anyway, grinning at Ronan. Ronan looked unspeakably annoyed at the sight, but only said, “I’m leaving.”

           “Okay,” Adam agreed, still smirking up at Ronan. He was pleased at the faint hint of a blush at the tips of Ronan’s ears. He fluffed the pillow behind his head and snuggled down into it, making himself comfortable. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

           “Christ, you’re an asshole,” Ronan said. He rose from the bed and jerked his tie back into place before heading out the door.

           “Make sure you go to confession,” Adam called after Ronan as he stomped down the stairs. There was a sound that seemed to Adam as though Ronan missed a step on his way downstairs. Ronan swore loudly enough for Adam to hear each word clearly.

           Adam turned over, hiding his smile in the pillow even though Ronan wasn’t there to see it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna be honest and say that I’m still not really happy with this fic. But. It’s time to let it go and release it into the world so it can stop sitting on my computer and taunting me with its real potential.


End file.
